What makes you grow old

Age is a quality of mind
If you have left your dreams behind
If you no longer plan ahead
If your ambitions all are dead
Then you are old

But if you make of life the best
And in your life you still have jest
If love you hold no matter how the years go by
No matter how the birthdays fly
You are not old







The Benefits of Growing Older

You can eat dinner at 4:00 pm
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off
Kidnappers are not very interested in you
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service
In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first
Your back goes out more than you do
Your arms are too short to read the newspaper
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it


Growing old is not easy
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolates can make one gain five pounds.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind, I will live forever.
I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.